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How to annoy radiology departments

Remember these great tips if you want to increase costs and upset your radiology colleagues.

  1. A patient cannot be improving until confirmed by x-rays
  2. The fact that patient management will not be altered is the prime indication for the x-ray
  3. An x-ray is great for showing what you already know
  4. Never forget how useful it is to make the obvious visible
  5. When there is nothing else that can be done, always repeat the x-ray
  6. Never indicate the previous examination, so that the patient accumulates a nice collection of duplicate radiographs
  7. Always repeat a negative x-ray daily, until something turns up or the patient recovers
  8. Never let a clinical examination preclude an x-ray
  9. Always address radiographers as “nurse”
  10. Remember that the x-ray can always be used to show the patient that something is being done
  11. A doubtful x-ray always supports doubtful clinical findings
  12. Never be deterred by the cost of an examination in any circumstances, no matter how expensive it might be
  13. Remember, concealing most of the clinical details always makes the radiologist’s life more interesting
  14. Always plan a series of investigations so that each interferes with the other
  15. When you discover a compound fracture, an x-ray can always be used to support your clinical impression
  16. Amputations can also be confirmed radiologically
  17. A CT scan can show anything
  18. A repeat CT scan can show even more
  19. Never disclose what you expect the x-ray to show
  20. Never ask the patient if they have had the same examination done in the recent past
  21. Never request routine pre-op x-rays during working hours when they can be done just as well during the night
  22. Ensure death does not prevent the very last portable chest x-ray
  23. Any injury, however trivial, must be x-rayed immediately, preferably as part of the full skeletal survey
  24. Never, under any circumstance, alert the radiographer if the patient is infectious
  25. Make sure the patient is soiled before sending to x-ray and they will come back nice and clean

– Unknown source


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